Someday you will have to pay your way. Seriously!

Time to pay your way.

Time to pay your way.

Here’s a conversation I had with my twenty-one year old Senior in college, about how, as soon as he got a job, now or very soon, he could start paying me back the money I put out for him this past year.

Lets back up to the begining of his Junior year. I told him that he needed to get a job. Seriously!

He is a Senior now; still no job and will soon be cut off if no job is had.

Seriously!

I said, “You get a job and I will still help you. If you don’t, then I don’t care if you graduate from college or not. If you don’t care enough about a job to help pay your way then I don’t care enough to pay your way. You give a shit and I will give a shit. Seriously!

He said to me. “When I was growing up you never told me I would someday have to (You pick the last part of this sentence, it is all the same)–pay my own way—support myself—be cut off from your money.. Seriously!?!

Now in all seriousness, my son was joking. But behind the joke was the truth. When he was growing up, I think I did forget to say those very words to him.

We teach our children all sorts of important things to help them grow up, but a really good thing to say to your child, actually many times over, would be these very words:

“Juma, someday you will have to support yourself.”

A bit too vague. Too much room for the imagination.

“Juma, someday when you get older, you will have to support yourself.”

Still a bit loose. Be a bit more visual.

“Juma, someday when you are 16 years old you will have to do something to earn some money. Then when you are 18 you will need to be a bit more serious and earn all of your money for anything that is not food, a roof over your head, health and school related. Then when you are 21 you will have to pay for your roof over your head, food and everything else except school and your health. Then when you graduate you will have to pay for everything that you require in life.

Seriously.”

I think that covers things.

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5 thoughts on “Someday you will have to pay your way. Seriously!

  1. Iam thinking that by just telling him he will have to support himself with a job is kind of following what those who rule our world want. Maybe a little more said about finding in your life what your passion is finding something that you love to do? Learning to trust in the energy that surrounds each of us to place us where we need to be. Listening to our hearts learning to go within and find our purpose. Maybe its not so much about the $ which soon could be worth little to nothing but more about the abundance that surrounds us and how to tap this energy that can give us anything we want and then some. For sure there is so much more we could teach our kids about truth which very little is taught in our schools these days. So theres my 2 cents worth on this for what its worth.

    • Crystal Full Blue, I agree with all you said. Finding your passion was what I did remember to teach him. Listening to our heart and learning to trust the energy around us was also present. Following thru with all of this is very important. Sometimes it is easier to drift from one dream to another when you are not feeling responsible for paying for groceries and the roof over your head. So there is balance and I really needed to nudge him to understand this. It made me realize I needed to be balanced in what I taught him. So happy you chimed in with your priceless comment.

  2. Someone wrote a comment on FB that reads “Yes, someday you will have to pay your way, but to ask for money back, whew, not my way to go!!!

    I wrote back:
    It means a lot to me that you took the time to read this. It’s funny that you mentioned this because when I said to him that once he gets a job he can start making payment to me for things he owes, he smiled and said “You may have to wait awhile for that.” And its true, I will definitely have to wait awhile.
    I have paid pretty much everything for him since he left for college, even his gas, insurance and phone. I mentioned in post that a year ago was my first deadline for him to get a job and he didn’t so, now I really feel someday he can pay me for the extra in gas and phone. I kinda look at it as a bit extra when I retire. Realistically I may never see it but it does kind of put it in perspective for him how much he needs to get motivated.

    Biggest thing for me is that I don’t let money get between my children and me. I love them more than any money issue could ever play a part. I just feel like a mother bird shooing them out of nest tweeting, “Open your wings, Open your wings. “

    • I’m pretty sure I do. I think there is a statute of limitations, lol. I also remember you saying, “Don’t worry, when I’m older you can pay me back with love.” ❤

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