‘Letting Your Children Grow Up’ Mantra

Blue throat chakra, green heart chakra

Blue throat chakra, green heart chakra

Do six sun salutations to allow your chakras to open.

Close your eyes and cross your arms over your chest and gently hold your throat with both open hands. You are opening your throat chakra and your heart chakra at the same time. You are healing your throat chakra and heart chakra simultaneously.

Repeat these words, letting your own words mix in with the words below. Allow words to flow. Let your own words take over if you want. Trust your instincts and let what needs to be said be said, what needs to be felt to be felt.

Trust !!!

I am trust, I am love, I am perfect vibration, I am whole, I am strong, I am able.

My children are love, My children are perfect vibration, My children are strong, My children are able.

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Aloe heals more than sunburns.

This was first published on August 14, 2012

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I wake up tired and stiff. This is pretty much every morning. After a splash of water on the face and a toothbrush massaging my mouth I am ready to putts around.

I wonder onto my courtyard to see how my aloe plants are doing. Yesterday I took all the small aloe (babies) that were choking my large aloe (momma), then moved them into other pots. I left one small teenager in the pot next the mother as I felt she just couldn’t lose all her babies at once. To be more descriptive I must explain that these babies are all connected to the mothers root. You kinda crack them away and amazingly they all have roots attached to them after they are pulled from their mother.

This whole mother-babies-teens thing formed as I was digging and watering and moving about.

It was kinda sweet but I didn’t grasp the whole ‘life realization’ quite yet. I guess I needed a  new day to open the door all the way.

So this morning when I putted about, I looked at the teen next to her mom and had a strong feeling she was ready to move on, so I pulled her out, one long root attached to her slender young aloe body…and put her in the crowded pot with her brothers. She felt very happy there, stood tall and all.

I went back to the mom to see how she was doing and I realized her root was short, stalky, and completely out of the soil. I thought this strange because I did not notice this at all when the teen was still attached. Yesterday I even added a bit of soil on top of her roots where the others were removed for root protection, so you can see I was clearly aware of the root.

I felt very connected to this momma aloe. Her roots were like a fish out of water, her life-line disconnected.

This too is how I feel. My body seems to be complaining a lot lately, everything hurts. Like the aloe, I feel as if I could shrivel up and die if I wanted to. Just leave my life-line and fade. But I don’t want to and this momma aloe does not want to either. It is calling out to me merely by the fact that I was called to pay attention to it.

Without hesitation I dug a hole in the center of the pot, taking one shovel of her soil to each of her babies. Next, I grabbed th

is massive aloe, being careful not to grab the somewhat thorny edges too much, and rested her upright. I pulled the soil next to her roots to give her support along with moving her close to the wall of house. Sometimes we just gotta lean on something or someone. She looked stronger but I felt her fragile state. She had grown out of her pot to accommodate all her children, now they were gone and she needed my help to put her back to her glory. A bit twisted, not the beauty she was in the day when all would walk past her and say, “Wow, this is beautiful. I have never seen an aloe so big and perfect.”

Time will tell how she will hold up on her own. Very much like how I feel. Time will tell how I will hold my own self up again.

Thirty plus years of mothering others, putting them front and center. My job is not done. My 18 year old will still call out when she needs me but it will be mothering from a phone, text, FB and Skype. No more knocking on her door to see what her day will bring, no more cooking with her or hanging out in her room, me on the bean bag and her on her bed. There will still be summers for a year or two but my daily job is complete. She leaves this Sunday. Five full days left. Five days she has to pack her bags to the gills and say goodbyes to friends.

I feel something big about to happen, I am excited, happy and sad, moment to moment.

Thank you Momma Aloe for showing me the way. I feel your soothing lesson. Your bravery will be my guide.

Aloe is one of natures most healing salves. Symbolically it will help heal the wounds of my empty-nest-heart.

Babies and Teen

Babies and Teen

One went astray

One went astray

 

Baby Explains- Normal Newborn Behavior

Is something wrong with your new baby or is this normal newborn behavior? A letter from a new baby, whats normal.

via Baby Explains- Normal Newborn Behavior.

By Diana Cassar-Uhl, IBCLC 

Dear Mommy,

Thank you so much for breastfeeding me!  You probably already know that your milk is designed especially for me, and is better than anything else you could feed me.

I know that right now, you feel like your friends who aren’t breastfeeding their babies seem to have an easier time of things.  Those other babies sleep soundly and longer between feedings, they drink so much, and they don’t fuss to eat all the time like I do!  I can tell you’re getting a little bit frustrated, and I hear all the advice you’re getting … my grandma says you weren’t breastfed and you turned out just fine, my daddy says he feels like he can’t do anything to soothe me, and that lady with the cold hands that you call “doctor” gave you a can of something that she says will help me grow faster.  You’re tired and frustrated because taking care of me just seems too hard, but please mommy, before you give up this yummy breastfeeding thing, let me explain some of my behavior to you.  It might help you feel better.

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Getting your child to eat healthy

When my 29 year old was a baby he had no desire to eat until 9 months old. His first food was avocado, a sort of fruit/veggie. We added peas, carrots, then fruit. As he grew up into his three’s and fours, we added sprout balls (sprouts rolled up into nutritional yeast) and tofu cubes along with lots of other healthy foods. I could eat ice cream in front of him and he wouldn’t even beg it because he didn’t know what it was, he had never had it. (I, on the other hand was feed it every other nights as a child). To this day he eats very healthy.

The point is we ate really good therefore my kids would eat really good, junk food wasn’t an options as it didn’t exist in their minds. You can’t miss what you don’t know.

Babymoon Parenting blog has a post called “It’s not you…it’s me?” Article by Kelly Spec, Registered Dietitian – Spectrum Nutrition
Instructor at Babymoon Parenting in Vancover , BC. I just had to repost her—of course with her permission.

This is such basic, smart, common sense stuff but time and time again I am amazed how many parents don’t get it. Thanks for the reminder to all parents. I wish this article was mandatory reading before someone has their first child. I have such a long list of mandatory reading for 1st time parents.

Is your toddler a ‘picky eater’?  Or not eating at all?  The biggest mistake I see parents make is thinking their child’s picky eating is just the child’s personality when in fact, the issue usually stems from how the parents are feeding their toddlers.

{to read middle of article click here at Babymoon}

If parents do their job of providing a variety of foods at predictable times, in a predictable setting, toddlers can do their job of eating.  Children will not starve themselves (thank goodness this is an innate quality we are all born with!) but they do need their parent’s trust to do their job of eating.

Free Range Children=Love

I was reading a post called “Free Range Children-Just look East”.

The blogger wrote about a debate he participated in at college. The question was: should first world countries be obligated to make third world countries more westernized?

smile

He was on the No side of the debate when actually he felt the answer was a definite yes. This was until he began to prepare for the debate. I loved the questions he asks at the debate. He held up a picture of a smiling Indian child and asks, “Does this child laugh any less than a child in a first world country? Will all the wealth that comes with a First World existence make this child’s smile any wider?” The other side took pause at this but ended up winning. I felt that had the judges really thought about these questions he would of won the debate.

Just as a child can be loved and happy anywhere; a child can also be crushed anywhere, anyplace if those caring for them are cold hearted and do not take time to listen and love.

 

My son, 17, listens to his I-touch a lot. The computer is also a good friend of his. He spends many hours researching movies he wants to write and direct someday soon.

One day he turned off all his electronics and just laid down to clear his head to allow the thoughts-his thoughts only-to play in his head.

Latter that day, he was telling me how profound that experience was for him. I realized I could of told him a million times to just turn it all off and all he would of done was thought I was annoying.

I set the lure by doing yoga and meditating, by talking about how those experiences work for me when the subjects come up in our conversation, which we have often.

You know how we say, “I hope someday they get it”.

Well…he got it. ♥

 

What does the smiling Indian child have to do with the 17 year old that learned to appreciate silence?

Love, nothing but love. 

Is Madlyn Primoff a criminal?

My first thought when I heard about Madlyn Primoffs crime was “Hey, I’ve done that”.

Here’s what she did:
She ordered her two daughters, 10 and 12, to get out of the car and walk home. They were three miles from home.

Here’s what I did:
Driving home halfway down on our long dirt road, my son was whining and would not stop. I stopped the car and made him get out. He was four. I slowly drove home while he cried a safe distance from car. My plan was to let him back in the car shortly but he fell in a mud puddle therefore he had to walk whole way home. This was not pleasant for him but not torturous either.

Here’s where she lived:
White Plains, NY in an upscale suburb

Here’s where I lived:

In the countryside of St John, Virgin Islands

This is what I think of Madlyn Primoff:

She was a frustrated mother who decided to try something new. It was a little radical but not a crime. Her daughter over reacted and is probably sorry or not. The mother probably would of felt she finally took a hold of the situation and taught them they do not run things, or not.  (This would have been if the police did not become involved). The kids were probably in a safe neighborhood and very well knew their way around, or not.

This is what I think of me:

I was calm when I put my son out of the car. I watched him with love and not anger. I washed him up and loved him up when we got home and never apologized for my action. I was very happy the next time he started his whining while I was trying to drive and I said “Do you want to walk” and he instantly stopped the flow of tears and stopped the whining.

This is what I know of Madlyn’s girls:

Nothing!

This is what I know of my son:

He is a well-adjusted, delightful (yes delightful) 17 yr old that loves to hear the story of when he walked home covered in mud.

 

As a side note, I would like to thank Lenore Skenazy of Free-Range Kids, Mothers handbook, , Parenting with Duck Tape for their inspiration.

Living on an island in your teen years

should I stay or should I go
Should I stay or should I go?

Growing up in St John has many advantages and a few disadvantages. I always felt it was an ideal place to be until your teenage years. Some teens may argue with me about this and actually I could come up with a few good arguments myself, but who better to argue with than myself.

Here it goes.

The beach is a great daytime activity for anyone of any age. There are walks on the beach and trails close to the beach for young and old; there is windsurfing, sailing, and body surfing. Depending on the weather there is surfing, skin boarding, and kite surfing. When you add an actual boat into the picture then you have dinghies, motorboats, jet skis and sailboats. A boat can pull you by ropes to wake boards and ski. You can go spear fishing and scuba diving.

A lot of this takes money and if the money’s not there, these kids still find a way; they work for the vendors for trade to use their boats, they find friends with boats or they just hang out at the beach.

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Healing the family through touch (massage)

This post was taken from my other blog-gypsychant.com


One afternoon when I was giving my 17 year old son a back massage, he said to me “I bet not many others in my school are being massaged by there mom right now” then he paused and said, “ I am sure no one is being massaged by their parent” then he thought about this for a moment and concluded with, “That’s to bad.”

As a side note: I do have to say this massage thing is not a daily event. He does have to plead and beg a bit. But generally speaking I do massage him about once every two weeks. These are not full body massages. It depends on how generous I am feeling at that moment. Some days it is a foot massage, some days it is a foot massage with lotion, some days it will be a back massage while he is sitting on his chair at his desk and very rarely a full body massage. I have graced all four of my children with this gift; this gift for them and for me. I really feel it brings me closer to them.

Parents don’t touch their children enough; they send them off in the morning and in the evening they are doing dinner and clean up and getting ready for the next day. This disconnect is having a strong effect on the family unit, trust me when I say it is not a positive effect. There are many ways to keep the family unit healthy. Massage is one of them.

I feel the disconnect starts at birth and carries on unintentionally throughout a child’s life. The list is great in the infant category. I could write a whole book on this but don’t need to because many before me have already done just that. I will only speak of one pet peeve. Ever since car seats became mandatory there has been a giant upswing in babies being carried in plastic seat almost everywhere. Have you seen the car seats that turn into seats you can carry with you? I cringe when I see that, I want to pick up the baby and hold it next to my heart. I love car seats, don’t get me wrong, but we have overdone it. The car seat was started to protect the child, the misuse is actually hurting the child. A child needs touch, a lot of touch. Their little bodies are designed to be touched almost constantly until they reach the crawling stage; even then they are meant to be carried often. We use to carry them everywhere we went; now we have strollers and car seats.

There are many books, videos and even classes that teach infant massage. Infant massage is great but I think it should not stop when they reach past the toddler stage. I believe it is important throughout life, especially in the pre-teen and teen years. If you start from a young age, being massaged is natural to them when they are older, but does this mean you cannot start in the teen years because you missed the boat. The answer is a giant no. Start out small, ask your teen if there feet hurt, tell them you would be happy to massage their feet. If they say ‘no, its ok’, then let them know again that you think it would help relax them and you really would like to see how it works for them. You could even say you want a little practice. What you will find is that massage helps the parent bridge the gap to communication. A child will open up when feeling safe in your care.

Parents are tired. I know how tired it can all get. The last thing you think you want to do is put more energy out after a full day. If anything you want someone to put energy into you-someone to massage you. Here’s the thing: once you set up the space (a yoga mat, a few pillows and your set) every one gets a little quieter, a little softer. You talk softer, or not at all. Let the child decide. Parents should start to pay attention to the child’s breath. If you are giving a back massage you should notice the breath moving the back up and down. How tight or loose is the movement? It is an indication of the child letting tension out of their body. So the parent breathes and the child breathes. Everything slows down. Things that are bottled up can gently release. Now hears the catch. You thought you were too tired to massage the child but suddenly you feel calmer yourself and more energized. You are exchanging touch yourself. So not only does it benefit the child but also it benefits you. Loving your child makes you feel better, more satisfied that you did what you set out to do when you first had a child-love them. That’s really all you thought about when you reflected on the child before it was born. You thought about loving them. Not all the other busy things that came along. So go back to that original thought and love your child. Love them in this very moment. See how much better that feels. You had a quiet moment with your child, even if you talked; it had a rhythm to it. It had a release from the breath and a release of emotions for both of you. For your child it was a release of all the muscle strain from having to sit in awkward seats, carrying backpacks, sports, and the list goes on.

So the mother (or father) thought she did not have the energy for this but now she is more energized. You have temporary peace in the home and a happy child, which is our goal for this society. Ahh!! This is the ‘breath releasing’ sort of ahh.

One more thing, your intention is important. Think positive thoughts and if you can’t be positive because your day was just too stressful then think no thoughts. Just think about the breath. This is important. Let the child talk without them being judged. This is not a time to be judgmental, not a time to fix the problem, just a time to listen. Give them that time. Let them know you hear them. Exchange words; just exchange caring words.

Our society needs this. It may not cure everything but it may cure something. That’s just it; it may cure something. A broken heart, a sore body, circulation in the body, loneliness, depression, anxiety, stress. These are big ills in our society. The time to start this is now. We no longer can wait. As harmful as global warming is for the earth, the opposite, body warming, is helpful to our souls.