October is the month for Durga.

Yes I know October passed, luckily 13 days ago, which is the point. Thirteen represents good luck. There are thirteen moons in a year. The Lunar calendar (13 months) was changed to a solar calendar (12 months). Why? Some believe to take power away from women.  After the fall of the matriarchal society, it was the patriarchal society, knowing it symbolized the sacred feminine, that created stories of doom related to this number. They will tell you events of death and destruction that happen on that day. Judas, the betrayer of Jesus, was the thirteenth at the table, Apollo 13…need I say more?, some planes crashed on the 13th (never mind all the other plane crashes on other days), some Norse legend about 12 Gods at a Banquet and a next one (13th God) came and killed one of the other Gods, starting lots of natural disasters.

Men needed to create fear with the number thirteen to squelch the feminine power. And for most people, it worked.

So it seems fitting that thirteen days after the month long celebration of the Goddess  Durga, the mother of the universe, I would add a post about her.

 Dervi Durga

She is believed to be the power behind the work of creation, preservation, and destruction of the world. This confuses some. How can she create and destroy? Well…she creates life and destroys evil.

The word “Durga” in Sanskrit means a fort, or a place which is difficult to overrun. This represent a safe house to me. A place where others and myself can find peace.
Another meaning of “Durga” is “Durgatinashini,” which literally translates into “the one who eliminates sufferings.” Thus, Hindus believe that goddess Durga protects her devotees from the evils of the world and at the same time removes their miseries. I like this. I want to be more Durga-ish and protect all my children from miseries. With four of my own and four more of Starbo’s, this is a lot of miseries. Plus all earths children feel like mine some days. I want to protect them all.
The lion represents power, will and determination. Mother Durga riding the lion symbolises her mastery over all these qualities. Wahoo…bring on the lion.

I want to be more Durgaya-ish. She listens to her devotees and attends to their needs. I do find I listen more intently these days. Being in a place of service is good for me and humanity. It is a win win situation.

ॐ Namah Durgaya

 Mother and Child" - Avijit Banerjee

Mother and Child” – Avijit Banerjee

Wengenn for Halloween

I love the imagination of this artistic mother living the Creative Life.

Queenie Liao created photos using plain cloths, stuffed animals, and common household materials to create the background setting.

Check out Bored Panda for the rest of the pictures. Definitely not a parenting site, but occasionally some interesting post.

Wengenn in Wonderland

Wengenn in Wonderland

Screen shot 2013-10-31 at 12.39.09 AM

‘Letting Your Children Grow Up’ Mantra

Blue throat chakra, green heart chakra

Blue throat chakra, green heart chakra

Do six sun salutations to allow your chakras to open.

Close your eyes and cross your arms over your chest and gently hold your throat with both open hands. You are opening your throat chakra and your heart chakra at the same time. You are healing your throat chakra and heart chakra simultaneously.

Repeat these words, letting your own words mix in with the words below. Allow words to flow. Let your own words take over if you want. Trust your instincts and let what needs to be said be said, what needs to be felt to be felt.

Trust !!!

I am trust, I am love, I am perfect vibration, I am whole, I am strong, I am able.

My children are love, My children are perfect vibration, My children are strong, My children are able.

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‘Birth’-a play for a non-perfect world.

•♫ ♪♫•”Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath and fire my spirit.” •♫ ♪♫•

Squatting with fingers touching the earth, the baby-belly mama rises while cradling her arms in a rocking motion, moving hands in swirling motions near her throat chakra, clapping the right hand reaching to the sky, all the while chanting, “Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath and fire my spirit.”

A birthing woman is sitting under the stars, breathing air that connects her to the earth and sky, intuitively knowing the bodies blood-water connects her to the fetus that is laboring along with her, and trusting both baby and mother spirit to fuel the fire needed to endure the path to delivery. The mother rocks her body, moving through light contractions. The wave of intensity is building, building–till the pushing urge is so strong that all her focus moves her body to bears down, moving her baby gently into the world to share the earth’s breath. The never ending spiral of life~creating more spirals.

In a perfect world.

Which does exist.

The world of birth compares to the world of snowflakes.

“Wow really?” you may ask, “in what way?”

Simply in that no two are alike. This variable state creates the unexpected. The unexpected at times creates unwanted results, these results can cultivate future fear. This often leads to controlling Birth to get a more satisfactory result. This control contradicts the natural birthing process. Control interrupts the innate rhythmic flow of a birthing body.

This forced flow will still produce the birth of a baby. This forced flow can, at times, save the life of a baby.


But there has been great loss in this process of forced birth.

If you look at numbers, the lives saved by intervention is not equal to the lives lost. The United States has one of the worst infant mortality rates for an industrialized country. The cesarean rate is out of control. Just look at the world health organization for your statistics. The facts are easily found once you question the process.

If the facts are so easily found then why are so many robotically moving toward controlled birth?

Simple…Fear rules over facts. The majority will not even question the safety of what they are being told is normal and safe. They will simply do what everyone else is doing. If they do question their doctor, they are told that all these interventions make it safer for the baby and them.

The fact is, it does not make it safer.

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Ruby’s Baby Brother-Book Review


Ruby’s Baby Brother.

by Kathryn White

A little girl’s imagination takes flight to help her process all the scary things about a new brother being brought home for the first time. She gathers her resources together to prepare for his arrival: a magic wand for safety, a space rocket to send him far away.

Suddenly, the unexpected happens, she falls in love with his soft tiny hands.

Imagination changes purpose. Now it brings play and protection into both their lives.

What a fun book this is. The imagination can soar with adorably warm and funny illustrations that Miriam Latimer creates with every turn of the page.

A big added bonus for breastfeeding advocates is a picture of mom nursing her little boy. This image is hard to find in children books.

I love that the publisher of this book, Barefoot Books, started as a home business back in the early nineties. They have an ambassador program where parents can have their own independent business selling books. Check them out here.

A Possible Cure for ADHD, OCD: Cure Your Gut

Mental Illness can possibly stem from your Gut; ADHD, OCD included.


“The gut is really your second brain. There are more neurons in the GI tract than anywhere else except the brain. The connection may have been established, but scientists thought communication was one way: it traveled from the brain to the gut, and not the other way around. But now, a new understanding of the trillions of microbes living in our guts reveals that this communication process is more like a multi-lane superhighway than a one-way street.”

–quote from Gut feelings: the future of psychiatry may be inside your stomach.The right combination of stomach microbes could be crucial for a healthy mind, By  Carrie Arnold

This is one of those articles you pull up on your computer hoping to read and something important takes you away. It may be as important as a cute puppy pic of Facebook. I just couldn’t close the tab. I left it there for four days. Finally I read it. I was so excited I had to post here. The quote above got me. But more than that…the cure.


These are the helpful bacteria in your body. You find it naturally in yogurt, kefir, buttermilk, miso, kombucha, sauerkraut and kimchi.

Probiotics are the smiling ones.

Probiotics are the smiling ones.

Yogurt is what most people are familiar with, just make sure to read the label. It must read “live active cultures”. The heavy sugar ones are countered with the negative effect of sugar. Better to buy plain and lightly sweeten yourself. I mash in a well spotted banana the day before I eat it, which gives the natural sugars time to blend.

So, back to this connection with mental health and probiotics. A 2001 study out of McMaster University showed:

“Bacteria-free mice exhibited higher levels of risk-taking, and neurochemical analysis revealed higher levels of the stress hormone cortisol and altered levels of the brain chemical BDNF, which has been implicated in human anxiety and depression.  Jane Foster, the study’s lead author, said. “Everybody knew that stress and anxiety could lead to gastrointestinal symptoms, but we looked at it from the bottom up and showed that the gut could communicate with the brain. It was the first demonstration that the gut itself could influence brain development.”

Changing the bacterial balance early on seems to be the most beneficial.  It is still helpful later in life but, hey, this is something for all parents to consider.

How healthy is your child’s gut?

When my daughter was three she was in the hospital with Kawasaki, a viral disease that mimic the bacterial Scarlet Fever. She was incorrectly treated for the later which involved heavy doses of antibiotics. To counter this, her whole life, I have provided her with probiotics. Chewable when she was little and later the pill along with yogurt. Mind you, no doctor ever mentioned this to me, this was my own fix. I felt it was very important. And now I see a strong backing from the research currently being done. Actually this research started twenty years ago by Boston-area psychiatrist James Greenblatt whom the article refers to. He started this study at George Washington University while studying eating disorders.

The door is just beginning to open to much of this research, as to which strain of probiotics, how much and what stages of human development are crucial.

I am certain of this. My body functions better when I have a healthy gut.

Someday you will have to pay your way. Seriously!

Time to pay your way.

Time to pay your way.

Here’s a conversation I had with my twenty-one year old Senior in college, about how, as soon as he got a job, now or very soon, he could start paying me back the money I put out for him this past year.

Lets back up to the begining of his Junior year. I told him that he needed to get a job. Seriously!

He is a Senior now; still no job and will soon be cut off if no job is had.


I said, “You get a job and I will still help you. If you don’t, then I don’t care if you graduate from college or not. If you don’t care enough about a job to help pay your way then I don’t care enough to pay your way. You give a shit and I will give a shit. Seriously!

He said to me. “When I was growing up you never told me I would someday have to (You pick the last part of this sentence, it is all the same)–pay my own way—support myself—be cut off from your money.. Seriously!?!

Now in all seriousness, my son was joking. But behind the joke was the truth. When he was growing up, I think I did forget to say those very words to him.

We teach our children all sorts of important things to help them grow up, but a really good thing to say to your child, actually many times over, would be these very words:

“Juma, someday you will have to support yourself.”

A bit too vague. Too much room for the imagination.

“Juma, someday when you get older, you will have to support yourself.”

Still a bit loose. Be a bit more visual.

“Juma, someday when you are 16 years old you will have to do something to earn some money. Then when you are 18 you will need to be a bit more serious and earn all of your money for anything that is not food, a roof over your head, health and school related. Then when you are 21 you will have to pay for your roof over your head, food and everything else except school and your health. Then when you graduate you will have to pay for everything that you require in life.


I think that covers things.

Birth, A Play by Karen Brody

Things like this don’t come along that often. A play about Birth from eight completely different women’s perspectives. I’ve been attending the rehearsals because I will be doing background sounds along with two other women, Christar and Sakura. We are drumming with our djembe’s along with some flute and shakers.

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Breastfeeding in the Infinity Loop of love.

This is dedicated to Mothering Magazines “Blog about Breastfeeding” event.

Brian Birth 2

Pregnancy is a time for strength. Birth is a time of surrender. Mothering becomes a time to ebb and flow between strength and surrender as if both energies are locked into an infinity symbol.

Strength is needed to care for your body and the baby. Surrender is needed to give yourself completely to a new life with a new being in it. Surrender to letting go of things that once seemed important and strength to adjust to whats is important now.

When you nurse your baby, surrender is necessary, but not the same type of surrender that was needed in labor. This surrender is letting go of all distractions and focusing in on you and your baby and the connection that is growing.

The first few weeks with your baby compares to meditating. When you meditate, you focus in on one sound, and when many thoughts come into your mind, you greet them and then send them on their way and go back to that one sound.

Be with your newborn the same as you sit with your meditation. You may think of a client you forgot to call or a dish that needs washed but to get the most out of this moment it would be best to focus in on the skin to skin contact, the breath being shared between mother and child, how that breath creates a movement between the two of you. Be present with this moment, be fully present. This moment passes so quickly and can never be recaptured. A dish can always be washed, a client can always be called but this moment when a being reaches the earth is a once in a life time moment. Literally. Everything is new for its little baby body, lots of adjusting for both mother and child.

For some mothers it may be overwhelming to care for such an important being. The exhaustion of labor and birth are overwhelming. The body has often maxed out all its reserves in the strength department. It may feel as if your baby is pulling more energy out of your body every time they nurse. More energy than you think you can spare.

When the baby latches on to your nipple to nurse it stimulates oxytocin. Oxytocin causes the uterus to contract. A contracted uterus is a good thing for a mother. It helps to stop the flow of blood coming from the uterus by squeezing the ends of blood vessels that once connected to the placenta. It also helps the uterus go back to it’s original size.

So you see the baby is helping you get your energy back. Think of it like this: The baby’s lips on your breast are like you plugging in your cell phone to recharge the phone. You may think you are the only one giving out the electricity juice but the baby is actually giving lots of juice back to you, contracting your uterus and giving you the ultimate energy, letting you receive all that baby love. No other love is purer than a baby new to this earth bringing all that fresh innocent love into your life.

Once again it all goes back to the infinity sign. The figure eight; one circle being the mother, the other the child. The baby is giving and receiving and the mother is giving and receiving. What a gift.